Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Update: I noticed a lot of Yule posts about how hard several people had Yule and Christmas. It's a bit disappointing to see such a familiar trend. My Yule was quite well, a little teary because I miss my family, but my mate truly made it the best for me. Christmas was also quite weepy for me. Since the holidays began, my harmony I have been so kindly seeking seemed to desert me completely. The last few days have been very trying, but I am attempting to regain control.
Since I am lacking inspiration today, I want to share a story with you all. This is a story of my inspiration, a story of a girl I know and love.
Have you ever met that one person who has an extremely difficult life but they are so cheerful? That you seem to step back, put yourself in their shoes and wonder how this can be? How do they hold such strength? How can they be so giving, so loving, so filled with the desire to change the world? How is it...that they continue to go on?
I'll admit, I keep a lot of myself private, but I had a bit of a troubled youth. I wasn't the type to do drugs, or steal, or have sex, or party, or do vandalism, etc. But the life at my home was another story. Perhaps someday I will say more, but for now I will merely say, I was trying to escape from my home, and as much as possible. I wound up going to a college group about an hour away from my home. I was only a high school student, but there were no youth groups available in my town and I was more than welcomed there. It got to the point that I would leave my home for more than half the week, staying with some college friends who ran the group. It was almost like I was a college student, I used their library, lacked the classes, and went to their group events.
It was there I met someone who changed my life. When I first met her, she scared me. She had a disease I wasn't quite sure what it was, later I discovered it to be Cerebral Palsy. I saw that she was in a powered wheel chair, her arms spasmed at times, and she was tiny in size.
I'm naturally quite terrified of new people as it is, but what intrigued me most about her was the big smile on her face, you couldn't miss it. It was warm, she laughed a lot during the meetings. She was quiet, but she shared when something really spoke to her.
I was very shy, so was she. I can't remember exactly how we started getting close, but I learnt several things from her. I found out that she wasn't breakable. When I first met her, I remember worrying a great deal that I may hurt her if I was too rough with her or touched her. Once I discovered it didn't hurt, I took that fact to heart. I would plop right down on her in her chair. She loved it. I remember the times when we would race through the snow to get ice cream. I never cut her any slack, I knew that she was faster than me. I had to jog to keep up with her chair, those things have some serious power!
My favorite memory was when we were in her dorm room, she would always encourage me to get in her chair, I loved that thing too. I remember that her chair was getting repairs so she was borrowing one that could tilt upwards. She told me to tilt the chair backwards then spin in circles. She did it herself then encouraged me to try it. I swear to goddess, I almost died. She controlled it with such ease. I was so sure that I was going to fly out of the chair, those things don't come with seatbelts!
I learnt so much from her, I realized during our friendship that she was no different than I. She taught me so much to look beyond the appearance and see that she truly had no limitations at all. I would often as her questions about her life, about how she had to have assistance with dressing or showers, and how it made her feel. To her, she was used to it. It was just something she had to do, it was normal. Now, she was not without her depression, anyone would be, but more often than not, she possessed a spark that I never had. She had such love, such drive, such ambition. She was beautiful.
As scared as I am of people, she was not. When others would look at her and judge, she was a shining beacon. They too would have fear and not know how to react, how to treat her to not offend her, etc. I realized that she is not like everyone else, but she is better. She is unique. She possessed an inner strength that I could never imagine.
To this day, she is my inspiration and one of my dearest best friends.
Her story is not mine to write, the tales of how hard her life has actually been and how she has grown and dealt with it is not mine to share. It is up to her to reach the world with her life and she is. Through poems, writing, short stories, videos, and more. She is an artist.
I tell you of her only to reassure to myself...of how much I value what she has taught me. She is the minority. She battles hardship every day and wins. To her, every problem holds as just as much importance as her own struggles. She is never spiteful, she values what she has been blessed with. To this day, I stand back and wonder...
As I continue to learn, love, and grow, she will always be an inspiration to me. I value her and all she has taught me. I strive for her spark, I strive to be like her, to possess that motivation, kindness, and love. She is a beautiful gem in a sea of sand.
There is so much I could say about her, to her. But all I can think to say is,
'I love you. You know who you are, I value you, and you always have a place in my heart. I know you'll achieve your dreams.'
And to everyone, I hope you all can take perhaps a little inspiration from this story, learn to see beyond limitations, race, gender, and age. Look beyond the outside and see the soul, the spirit. See what beautiful people are truly out there. Be blessed, and learn to love.
Thank you for reading, as always.